In Sickness and In Health

 

         

 

My favorite definition of love, came from the priest who taught us Religion in school.

Aboona Bitar explained, in his quiet soft voice, how true love is that which endures the test of time, with its hardships and happiness, its pains and its comforts. He talked to young teenage girls, at the exact time of their lives when they needed such knowledge, about the test that could determine the strength of one's feelings. As he preached that love is not about the way one looks, or dresses, or talks or behaves, it is not about the amount of money one owns or one's social status, he gave us the guidelines to test one's love to the other, and how to determine whether these feelings one has are enough to take a person all the way to the alter. Aboona Bitar said: " If you have feelings towards a certain person, and are considering him as a potential spouse, ask yourself, how you will feel in years from now. After this person is old and not so handsome, will you like him just as much? Suppose this person loses all his belongings, will you still want to be with him? Suppose this person is in a car accident and gets crippled, will you still want to be the one who lovingly pushes him around in his wheelchair, talk to him and tolerate his mood swings? "

 

I can never forget these words, because at that time, being a teenager, with no worries or responsibilities, I thought of this as a burden. And bearing burdens on one's shoulders is not an easy decision to make, from that moment on, I knew that unless I am ready to do all necessary sacrifices to someone, then I would never have him as a husband. It was, of course, just as important to me to know that I can never take someone as a husband, if I did not feel that he is inclined to do the same for me.

 

Love involves a lot of sacrifices, but it does not flourish if sacrifices were-one sided.

Love involves a lot patience, hard work  dedication, sympathy, respect, tolerance, understanding and trust. And when all these qualities are found in a relationship, then it qualifies as good marriage material.

 

My husband and I were talking about this yesterday, and he gave me the perfect reason one should get married. He said, "It's all about good companionship", and he couldn't be more precise. There is nothing like growing old together, taking care of each other, talking, laughing, sharing experiences, sticking together as everyone else walks by. Even one's children, they get to a point where they move on, but a couple moves on, together.

Every time I see an old couple I feel a little envious, that my parents and my in-laws were deprived of such cosy, comforting relationships  so early, with my father and father-in-law both passing away last year, but I never forget to secretly  wish the couple I see many more years to come, Allah yekhaleehom la ba3ad, is the first phrase  that  comes to my mind. It sure is a blessing!

 

One of the things that delight me the most, as my  husband and I celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary next week, how we don't feel it's been this long! Every time we talk about this, I feel ecstatic that he too feels the same way. Eight years already and it really doesn't feel that long, I guess time does fly when you're having fun, and it's been a blast!!

 

Thanks Honey and Happy Anniversary!

July 2007