Take a good look at his father/her mother. I have just recently realized how true this is. We grow up to be our parents, no matter how hard we try not to. Every time I scorn my kids, I catch myself gazing at my index finger pointed towards them, and I remember this line I heard in a movie: "When did I grow my mother's finger?" The words I say just echo in my ears and take me back to my childhood. All of a sudden I'm on the other side of the finger, and and mom or dad are lecturing me about something. Their words are recorded in my mind and I just echo them with no editing. Of the things I hated most as a kid, was how I was made to come to all the conclusions myself, how I was tricked, or emotionally blackmailed to realize my mistake, and now I do it all. And I scream, and punish, then reason and hug, and sometimes apologize, but at one point it hits me, this is not me, that's her, my mom, that's her way, and those are her words, and I'm just acting old scenes all over again. I am not complaining though..she has made things much easier for me, both her and dad. They have shown me the way and then let me go. I had a million ways to choose from and I went back and chose their way. Something inside me tells me that its ok, they have raised such great kids,(not me,my brother and sisters), who are this much loving and this much giving, and that assures me that in their footsteps I shall not be lost.
I also watch my husband and his father, watching football or discussing politics or fixing a broken tool, and I am sure my theory is right. He, hubby, is growing up to be his dad. And I can't complain about that, I have a great father in law. But watching them together, and seeing how fatherhood has changed my husband, I realize how there are certain things in life(mostly raising your own kids) that shape the person you really are, and mould you into a modern version of your parent. They act alike,feel alike and think alike. And I love watching them together, I just hope that my kids will always be close to us like both of us are close to our parents.
And to everyone who's about to get married; think carefully, can you really live with a young version of your mother/father in law for the rest of your life?
